Since there is, on the average, more than a month between
Ernst's and my letters and a reply from either side, it is often difficult
to tell to which letter Ernst is responding. He must have read a letter of
mine when I was feeling a bit blue - and what I got in return is a response
I consider one of the more unusual, dichotomous glimpses of Ernst Zundel's
intricate psyche that I have ever seen. He truly is a man of many hues!
I usually keep personal Zundel letters private, like Midas
hoarding gold. I think I will share this letter with you.
Ernst Zundel
JVA Mannheim
Herzogenried Strasse 111
68169 Mannheim
Germany
June 17, 2005
My dearest Ingrid -
Poor you! You sound ever more exasperated and frustrated
with this situation! I knew this crisis would come - but it's more
difficult for you than for me, for I know every living second that I am in
my enemies' clutches who have virtually unlimited power and control over
every minute, second and detail of my life - everything! Totally! From my
medicines to my diet to my mail - and now to my glasses who are once again
on the bum! Even to the repair of my glasses!
Ingrid, listen carefully:
This situation is not subject to a quick solution - not
by Bruce, not by the Lindsays, not by Doug or Barbara, and even less by
Juergen. [Our attorneys in three states and two continents] Look at all
the immense effort and expense we have gone through and expended
already! With what realistic results? We have not thwarted one single
iota of [our enemies'] devious plans. NOT ONE!
Ingrid, this is not criticism of you, or your efforts, or
[our attorneys, especially] theLindsays' - they were so beaten down in the
end that I could not persuade them, not really, to make that final,
defiant gesture of appealing or trying to stay the deportation. It was
over! It was like with our Germans in 1945 in May - there were not enough
of them with the "unbändige Wille" [the limitless will] like
you and like me - and the Great One - and many of our friends who,
although disheartened and also tired, more than tired, exhausted and
drained after years of superhuman effort, still obey an internal commend.
That is the miracle of this struggle.
Ingrid, it is the sheer WILL, the daily - no, the hourly
staving off of fatigue, exhaustion, fear, despair of the seeming futility
and the creeping feeling of hopelessness that people like you and I and
our lawyers, friends, and supporters face every living moment of our
existence. Few are granted the great, sweeping vision, the grandeur of it
all! And yet, Ingrid, they look at you and me with all their inherent
decency, honesty, sense of fairness and instinct for what is right and
wrong - and they help! Again and again!
Why? Out of an inborn sense - call it a genetic imprint on
our DNA - which we Germans describe so beautifully, all encompassing and
almost mystically - out of the Erbmasse [that which all of us inherited],
the very essence of our BEING. Something that has eluded even our most
brilliant scientists til now: The capacity of our people to do right, to
think straight, to right the unspeakable wrong done to our fathers and
forefathers- and to do it with an awesome dedication. Ingrid, think of it!
You told me that slightly over 10% of our supporters are
[people with a doctorate]. The other 90%, the vast majority, are ordinary
working people of all ages, both sexes, of so many nationalities I can't
even count them all. This morning I read a card by a German-American
woman, now 99 years old. She has supported my efforts since the early
1960s. Think of the miracle this is! A widow who, amidst all her daily
worries, fears, and struggles never once slackened in her commitment
through all those years!
I had no call on her life! I could not command or order
her or any of the thousands of people who helped make the Zundel Miracle
possible through their donations, usually modest in size. Oh, but the
dedication, the willingness to sacrifice their last pennies, to see to it
that I had the means, the wherewithall to launch all these world-wide
information/outreach/educational campaigns! No membership was needed. No
medals were handed out. No orders needed to be issued from Zundel
Headquarters. Year-in, year-out these people stood by me, and simply
HELPED!
It sounds so easy, even glib. But what we - now you, too,
since we are one - are experiencing is one of the most precious gifts that
separates us humans from the other species, this intangible capacity to
sacrifice for a cause larger than ourselves. A cause, they were and are
aware of, most likely might not see victory in their own lifetimes - and
maybe would never achieve what we call "victory" in human
language.
Yet they stood firm. Years. Decades. Soon a half century!
That, Ingrid, is the Zundel Miracle - and it is this magic
that has served as the elixir, the fuel, that inexhaustible supply of
energy which the French so poetically call "elan vitale", that
superhuman energy, almost like a human sun, in so far inexhaustible
supply! Every letter, every postcard, every word re-energizes me - and
obviously, infects people around me!
So Ingrid, my lady! Be patient! We are in touch with
something so awesome, so wonderful it's almost beyond description! You now
KNOW IT!
What will we do? Time will tell. I read your letter - we
see things essentially the same!
Be of good cheer! Standhalten! [Be steadfast!] I love you!
The guards are coming. I must close. I am with you in spirit always!
