I have a rule I have imposed on myself: Not to answer letters that are hurtful and demeaning. I have a "Nörgler" file where these letters get parked - and I am pleased to say that I get some 50 letters from my appreciative readership that are informative, supportive, warm and complimentary - for every letter of the other kind.
The kind that pesters, gripes and grumbles.
The kind that lets it be known that Ingrid owes the world a ZGram every day in exchange for little else but "good advice" on this and that - on how our struggle ought to be improved.
"Ignore!" is my response.
But recently, about a month ago, I blew my stack. Big time.
After a very hard day, I opened the following letter, quoted here in its full two-sentence glory:
"Do you not use a spell-checker, Dr. Rimland ? There are quite a few mistakes in this Zgram."
Now this came from a man who has been on my ZGram list since practically the first day when I started writing them. He has received roughly 1,250 ZGrams - for free.
I have now written a ZGram each day, come rain or shine, come holiday or not, since January 1, 1996 - minus perhaps half a dozen ZGrams that could not be sent because of technical or emergency situations. That is one bushel of an effort - and who has assisted me in it?
A relatively small cadre of truly loyal, dedicated people who help to underwrite my work with their freewill donations.
Compared to these, my true sponsors, there are that handful of people who write to me in a similar vein like the fellow above - complaints piled on top of complaints. There is one fellow up north, I kid you not, who sends me a letter like that - every day!
If I am late, he lets me know in tones of sour disapproval - as if I am his employee who snook off for a coffee break. If I don't inform him on something that he considers of importance, I get to hear about it. If I don't write about his own pet peeves, in his eyes I am failing the movement. My "Nörgler" file is bulging with his letters.
I could go on and on, but my point is not to list and analyze the failings of some gruffy fellows but rather ask myself: Where do these folks get off? Why do these people think I owe them every day a ZGram? What do they do for me - or the world, in fact - in return?
They freeload - without ever putting anything back. They have their fingers in the cookie jar of life, without a worry in the world who puts the cookies in.
Is that not unworthy of us and our serious task?
That's what I asked myself when I received the missive above. I could have told the "Nörgler": "Why did I misspell? Perhaps I was in a great hurry. Perhaps I was tired. Perhaps my eyes gave out - as happens after staring 14 hours at the screen."
Instead, something within me snapped, and I shot back:
"Do you ever send me a letter that is not derogatory, demeaning or critical?
"Have you ever contributed ***even a dime*** to help our effort so that we could have secretaries etc?
"You are a freeloader who has yet to learn what this struggle is really all about - and what it takes to hang in there and be a fighter instead of a yak-yakking fence sitter."
Back came his huffy-and-puffy reply - caps all the way, for emphasis:
AS A MATTER OF FACT I HAVE SENT YOU SUCH A LETTER.
AS A MATTER OF FACT I HAVE (SENT) SEVERAL HUNDRED DOLLARS TO MSSRS. ZUNDEL & IRVING. DOES THAT COUNT IN "OUR EFFORT" ?
CALLING ME A FREELOADER IS A BIT INSULTING. PERHAPS I HAD YOU PEGGED WRONG.
For added emphasis, he sent me four letters - four seconds apart! - in two of which he documented that he was not freeloading and yak-yakking - that he had sent one letter of protest to the Canadian Parliament, and then another letter to the Atlanta Constitution. So there!
That was last Christmas - and here it is July.
It's true - he pegged me wrong. I am not Mr. Gandhi - ( sp?) I do have very little patience - to vary similies, or is it metaphors? - for cyber couch potatoes. It seems to have escaped him, but I am in the trenches. I fight a serious war.
And now, after having brooded on this for a month, and having unloaded my anger on you, the rest of my readers, I am asking each and every one of you to help me - to join in my effort in a hands-on and meaningful way. I don't want to waste my time defining who is and who is not a "yak-yakking fence sitter" - but I say this: To write two letters in six months is not my idea of a person who has internalized what our struggle is really all about!
To put it bluntly: I need Zundelsite sponsors to ease the load on me. I need help in my office. I need supplies. I need computer updates and books and travel money for conventions and envelopes and stamps. I need more committed supporters. I have a databse of loyal and committed sponsors, but I need more. I need each and every one of you - because those few of us who put our names and even our lives where our commitment is: WE CAN'T DO IT ANY LONGER BY OURSELVES. The work load is simply too much. And, frankly, our thousands and thousands of passive readers world-wide should not expect us to do it almost single-handedly.
After I started the Zundelsite, there were many moments where it seemed I could no longer manage or keep things afloat. Things were so bad at times, so desperate all around, that it was a matter of letting the Zundelsite sink into the murky waters of a very hostile, censorship-riddled cyberspace - or ask my readers outright to help me defray the costs of the site and to allow me to run it full-time.
I asked - in a series of letters.
I knew that if my ZGram readers failed to come through in response to my appeal, I would have had to close shop and take myself back on the road as a convention speaker and freelance writer, the way I had made a living before. With eyes blurred with pain, despair and, yes, a sense of fury that everything should be so hard - when I knew in my heart I had given so much and had meant so well! - I asked my readers to help underwrite my work so that I could stay home and continue to do what I so desperately wanted to do and needed to do: to keep writing my ZGrams and keep steering my Zundelsite flagship, avoiding the various censorship mines.
M y readers came through - enough of them to assure my survival. My readers saved the Zundelsite. These people stayed the course. They helped me to stay afloat - not only that, to plow ahead full steam. They have been wonderful. We are now a Zundelsite family - and with the exception of a very few who have fallen off for one reason or another, mainly because of personality or ideological conficts, this core of supporters has now carried the ball for the Zundelsite, month after month, for over two years.
But I must say that, except for that special fund-raising week, very few additional ZGram sponsors have come my way since August 1997. Every now and then, I get a surprise donation, but sad to say, in general, people assume that, each day, that cyber pigeon out of nowhere will bring another ZGram. Just like that.
It is not fair that only a handful of people should carry the load for so many. It costs a lot to pay the office space, to run a website, to hire computer consultants, to take computer classes, to order software, to pay for registration, to read, sort and file the mail, to spend hours researching and writing my ZGrams. I do not pay myself a fixed salary - not even minimum wages. I have no other job. From the sponsorship money I get, I pay the Zundelsite costs - and believe me, parking it on Webcom, as I have done for years, is not exactly cheap! From the products sales of my own books and tapes, I pay my bills and buy my groceries, and what is left over, is immediately plowed back into the struggle.
Those of you who are on my regular sponsorship list and who receive my monthly letter, "Lebensraum", know that I am expanding way beyond the Zundelsite with exciting and promising activist projects, one of which is coming up in just two weeks. It will involve a massive grassroots mailing.
I have already paid thousands for important mailing lists and for the materials to be printed and even lined up my volunteer letter stuffers - but I still need the money for the envelope and postage. Where is that money going to come from? Right now, I do not know.
And this is only one of several very large projects - some of which will set America right on its ears. I promise you! I mean it!
Therefore, I have decided on the following:
Twice a year I will ask my ZGram readers for a voluntary goodwill contribution.
That time is now. I'm asking each and every one of you - all of my ZGram readers!
If what I am doing has meaning for you, you will decide how much your donation shall be. You decide the amount of support. If you hesitate to give out your name, I have a fine solution: then you may send me postage stamps or cash. (Be sure not to forget your e-mail address).
If you think you can't afford to help me out, I say to you I have the perfect plan for you. It is a fool proof scheme. I want you to ". . . sock it to 'em!"
Here's what you do. This minute, find yourself an old and useless sock - the one that lost its partner in the washing cycle.
Now get yourself a nail and hammer, and nail that sock right to the wall. That's where your spare change goes as it accumulates. Start hunting for nickels and dimes. Check every single pocket. Look in your drawers and check behind the pillows of your couch. Make it a habit. Make it a SERIOUS habit.
If you send me the contents of your Zundelsite Sock - twice a year, on August 1 and February 1 - we are in business. Zippo!
If each and every one of you will do that for me, and help me out routinely by nickeling and diming - together we can pull off miracles. I know it can be done. I now have an impressive e-mail list.
I know a few names by sight, but most of you are just an e-mail address. I don't know who you are - but you know who I am, because for 1,275 days or so, I have worn my heart on my sleeve.
If I don't hear from you by August 1 with a good-will donation - no matter what its size - you will be taken off my list. Regretfully - but still.
It is not fair that the few sponsors who help me regularly should carry the burden for all. And it is not fair to me either. What I do today has some cultural value tomorrow. What I do is not only for myself - and not even only for you. It is for generations to come.
This is an intellectual revolution - make no mistake about it. This isn't a spectator war for fence sitters to watch the struggle from afar, tsk-tsk, and ship me good advice. It asks for sacrifice.
* This open, unabashed "sales pitch" does not apply to those of you, of course, who are already in my data base and who are the recipients of my print letter. A big fat "Danke Schön" to you! You are the best! I cherish you! You are my "Kameraden"!
* It doesn't apply to those who very recently joined my list and who don't know me yet. If you would like to lurk a bit - just let me know you are lurking.
* It does not apply to those of you who help in other ways - my dentist who does not charge me interest on my outstanding bill, my accountant who does my taxes pro bono, my various ZGram attorneys, my friends who send me office supplies, my volunteers who stuff my envelopes, the special friend who gave me a brand new computer etc.
* It does not apply to patriots who publish their own newsletters and have an exchange agreement with me.
* It does not apply to those who help me actively with research for my ZGrams, who spend hours and hours surfing the Net and sending me up-to-date stuff.
* And it doesn't apply to true hardship cases. If you have eight children and nothing but a ketchup bottle in your fridge, you are exempt from Ingrid's playing hardball.
* You are exempt if you are an elderly couple surviving on the edge with only a computer as a lifeline to a world that has forgotten you.
The rest of you - you be your own judge on what you can afford and what my ZGrams are worth it to you. But if you have never helped in any way and don't intend to do so in the future, I say to you: "Tying together sixteen cripples will not make one gladiator." And then we will part ways. I don't need sixteen ZGram cripples - and you don't need my ZGrams. I need a strong, committed supporter base - people on whom I can count. I would much rather have a smaller, more committed ZGram readership than a vast blob of passive cyber couch potatoes tsk-tsking all the way.
Zarathustra Rimland has now spoken.
The deadline to respond is August 1. My bet with myself is that my ZGram list will shrink somewhat, but my supporter data base will swell. To what extent? That's up to you. Entirely.
I promise you this: I will do my part. Please do yours, too! To forego a movie or a restaurant meal twice a year is not too much to ask.
Please be fair and, if the spirit moves you, be generous - and please remember from now on until the day when our struggle will be won - whenever that may be! - the time to put your shoulder to the wheel is now! Get off that fence! "Let's sock it to 'em!" Together!
My address is: 6965 El Camino Real, # 105-588, La Costa, CA 92009-4195.
Ingrid
Thought for the Day:
"If a man is fortunate he will, before he dies, gather up as much as he can of his civilized heritage and transmit it to his children."
(Will Durant)
Back to Table of Contents of the July 1999 ZGrams