You are dying to read, of course, how Elie the Weasel Orders a Whopper. This little gem was sent to me by a good friend. It is too precious not to be passed on - therefore, it is getting passed on.
Here is how I heard it:
Elie drags himself with quiet nobility into a busy Burger King and approaches the counter.
"GooddaymayItakeyourorderplease?", the cashier machineguns cheerfully.
Elie: "Good day? Good day. . . yes, it is a good day. . . for you, yet another. For me, for we (sic) the survivors and our children and grandchildren, forever robbed of our peace, haunted by the dark nightmares of Auschwitz, Belsen, the shadow of a God who turned his head . . . for us, there will never be another good day. . ."
Cashier: "Oh". [pause] "Uh. Can I get you something today, sir?"
Elie: You ask me to choose. But if a man can choose, then he can choose evil, and he can be judged. Ultimately, we all have a choice. I still have faith in humanity, that after this terrible lesson we have learned we will make the right choice in future. I have not given up on God or on humankind, though in my darkest hours I asked him, "WHY", WHY he had allowed little children to die!"
[The customer behind Elie peeks glowering over his shoulder-- the cashier catches the manager's eye, and the manager opens another register for the growing line]
cashier [sympathetically but with growing irritation]: "How about a cup of coffee and a cinnabun? Free newspapers over there...!"
Elie: "Free? We will never again be free, our freedom died with the screams of those who were forever silenced!!!" [sobs]
cashier [alarmed]: "Mister, can I CALL someone for you?"
[You are invited to finish the story . . . ]
Thought for the Day:
"In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity."
(Ambrose Bierce)